Mistake
by Princess of the Mer-Rebels
Summary: "I left that night, even with the remaining injuries. I had to escape" "I pushed him to the wall, and he crumpled back to the ground.""I had some things to fix, before it was too late." "I had just admitted the fatal folly, the worst imaginable crime."
1. Leaving

Whump! kinda, but not graphic or anything. That's why it's Kplus. No major torture. If you think I should change it to T, tell me.

Enjoy!

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><p>I felt my magic welling up, urging to protect me. I pushed it back down, and made my body limp. Being tense would only make the pain worse. I separated my mind from my body, numbing myself to the agonizing torture.<p>

Eventually it stopped and I gained enough consciousness to flee the room, running propelled by adrenalin until I collapsed from exhaustion and misery in a corner of the castle. Hopefully I wouldn't be found there.

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><p>Why didn't he fight back? I watched the betrayer run from my room. He has magic, why didn't he fight? I knew of the magic, knew he must be powerful to do what he was when I'd caught him. He must know it too. Why didn't he kill me then? I saw what I did to him, his body was mangled and black and blue when he had run. I wished I had paid attention to the cries and excuses. I wished I knew why.<p>

I went to look for him. I didn't want him to die before I turned him in, or at least that's what I told myself. I ignored the impending guilt as I searched the castle. I eventually gave up. He was gone. He has to return to work again tomorrow. I'll confront him then. He'll have to tell me everything, and then I can turn him in. I want to know his story before he dies, know why.

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><p>I went to Gaius when I regained consciousness. I didn't tell him what happened; only that was leaving as soon as I was well enough. He didn't question, just helped. He gave me medicine for the bruises and set the broken bones. He helped pack my stuff. I left that night, even with the remaining injuries. I had to escape.<p>

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><p>If you want me to continue review! The more reviews, the sooner I continue.<p> 


	2. Running

Thank you for the reviews!

To Azaelle: I plan on doing a flashback either in the next chapter or the one after that.

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><p>He didn't show up that morning. Where was he? I waited as long as I could; even cancelling training, just because Merlin could be late almost every day. In my heart, I knew he wasn't coming. Why should he? I had to find him.<p>

The first place I looked was Gaius's quarters. I quietly snuck into the room, knowing if I barged in, either Merlin would be terrified or he would attack me with his magic. I couldn't bear either.

"Merlin?" I called out, but I got no reply, "Merlin!"

"Sire?" Gaius stepped out from his room.

"Ah, Gaius. Where's Merlin?"

"Didn't he tell you sire?" I could see Gaius was confused (AN: remember, Merlin didn't mention anything to Gaius, so he doesn't know it's Arthur's fault).

"Tell me what?" I had a terrible feeling.

"He's gone back to Ealdor,"

"What?" I made for the door.

"Where are you going?" Gaius asked.

"To get back my manservant," well, technically he wasn't my manservant anymore, but who cares about the details. I raced to the stables and had the stable hand ready my horse. I had some things to fix, before it was too late.

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><p>I ran, not bothering to stop to get a horse. I ran through the gates and into the forest. I ran until my lungs were burning. The sun was setting, and I prepared to make camp. I shouldn't have stopped. Out from the trees stepped the very man I was running from.<p>

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><p>I heard a clashing through the trees as I rode down the path. Getting off my horse, I tied him to the nearest tree and followed the noise. It slowed, and then stopped. There was a clearing up ahead, and I waited on the side of the trees to see who it was before revealing myself. The person stopped then reached to get something from their pack. I saw a glimpse of black hair and blue eyes that should've been shining. Merlin. He was barely recognizable. If I hadn't seen him last night and expected him on the path, I wouldn't have known him. I stepped out of my cover. Time to confront him, no turning back now.<p> 


	3. Worrying

I love this chapter personally, even though it's a little short. If you want what I feel would be the full experience, listen to Paper Plane on YouTube by Rin Kagamine. The song fits this perfectly. I was listening to it as I wrote this.

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><p>I stood there, neither of us moving. Merlin was crouched, huddled. He looked as though he would collapse. I waited for him to make the first move, if I did it might scare him off after what happened. My heart broke seeing him and knowing I did this. I was the hand that caused those bruises, the black eye, and the arm in a sling. How could I? Even with magic, he was still my friend… I think. The question is more if he thinks of me that way. As soon as the initial anger was gone, I know I'd never do something like that. I would never turn him over to my father—I'd contemplate it, but that's all. I had to fix this.<p>

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><p>He stood there; acting like I was a startled deer he was hunting. Would he shoot me? Would he watch as the blood drained out? Did he come to finish what he started? I knew I could never out run him, even in full health without a sprained ankle and useless arm. Do I want to outrun him? His face is cautious, worried. Did he think I would attack him as a last resort? That's what other sorcerers would do. Did he really not know me well enough to know I wouldn't hurt anyone if I could, especially him? Even not knowing my magic, he should know that. Maybe he thinks it was all an act. I wish I could tell him it wasn't, tell him of my loyalty. He would never believe me. He hates magic, plain and simple. Therefore he hates me. I wish he'd never walked in.<p>

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><p>The next chapter is going to be the flashback. Please review!<p> 


	4. Discovering

Sorry for such the long wait, but this was such a hard chapter to write! It's also really short, only like 350 words. It's only in Arthur's POV, because I couldn't bear writing it in Merlin's. I've also had compete writers block all week. On the bright side, in a lecture on iTunes U (Yes, I'm that much of a nerd that I watch that stuff for no reason) the professor used the "Two sides of the same coin" while describing physics and bio. He's been speaking with Kilgarrah!

I waited, breathing in and out. I gently closed my eyes. I could see the events in my head, as if they were happening, forever etched into my memory.

FLASHBACK

"Merlin! Where are you?" I called, walking towards my chambers. Where was that idiotic boy? I arrived at my room, and was about to open the door, when a flash of light shot out from the door.

"**** (AN: insert swear word of choice)" That was definitely Merlin's voice. What was happening? Were we under attack? Was there a sorcerer in there? At least I found Merlin, but was he in danger? I burst through the door. Only Merlin was in the room. What was going on? He was sprawled on the floor, soaking wet.

"Merlin? What'd that light come from?" I half yelled, walking to the center of the room and drawing my sword.

"Um, I dunno?" He said, more asking me than telling.

"Where? I have to get the sorcerer!" He shrunk to the ground. Slowly my mind numbed, it couldn't have been, but was it? "Merlin," I said slowly, "Was that you?" He lowered even further. "Merlin," this time it was a warning. He nodded, slowly, fearfully. I didn't think, just attacked. That was my instinct: see a sorcerer, kill it. I didn't stop to think about reasons, just that there was a sorcerer that couldn't protect himself, doing magic in my room.

I lunged, landing on top of him, twisting his arm. His eyes were fearful, but I didn't care. I punched him in the eye, pushing him further into the ground, crushing him. I got up, dragging him with me. I pushed him to the wall, and he crumpled back to the ground. I grabbed the nearest object, my helmet, and chucked it at him. I kept flinging everything possible at him, before stopping to look for my sword, to finish the deed.

By the time I found it, he was gone.


	5. Meeting

Sorry about the long wait. I've been on vacation, but I'm back now. This one is (I think) the longest chapter in this story right now.

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><p>We stared at each other, breathing in and out, waiting for the other to make the first move. I certainly wouldn't. I was tense, adrenaline kicking in again, all instinct telling him to run. My brain knew I'd never make it away, even with adrenaline. I crouch there warily, by the fire I had been preparing. He takes a tentative step forward, his eyes watching my every move. My body refuses to cooperate with my brain anymore, my legs shooting up and preparing to run.<p>

"Wait," he says quickly, quietly, almost as if talking to a young child, "I won't hurt you,"

My eyes dart back and forth, trying to decide the quickest way to get as far as possible from him. I take a deep breath, my lungs filling up with the air I knew I'd need, before moving. I bolted to the side, where the closest patch of trees was. Once I was there, I'd be safer. I'm more nimble, can move faster through the underbrush. I'd double back, and try to go south to Mercia. He wouldn't follow me there, nor try to look for me. He'd expect me to go to Ealdor, which was west from here.

I start to run, tripping over my own feet, limping, but still I run. He catches up, easily, grabbing the arm I didn't have in a sling. I tried to push him off, but I couldn't. I whimpered. He held firmly, not letting go. I didn't even think about using magic on him; just let him lead me towards the inside of the clearing before I collapsed again, on the forest floor. I was defenseless.

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><p>He sat there, crouched and tense, staring at me helplessly. I took a step forward; he wasn't going to move first, one of us had to. He rose up in a fluid movement. I could tell he was looking for a way out, trying to escape. I'd seen it on hundreds of men's faces as I attacked them, killed them, but never had it pained me so much. This was my friend, as much as it pained me to admit it. How could he be so scared of me? How could I have allowed myself to do this?<p>

"Wait, " I tried to stop him. I needed to apologize, to say I didn't mean to hurt him. He didn't stop. I tried not to show my worry and anger at my self in my voice. "I won't hurt you," He needed to listen. I won't make the same mistake twice. He dashed, to his side. I was quicker; he always was a klutz. He only needed to go three more steps until he's reach the safety of the trees when I reached him, grabbing his arm as gently as I could; I stopped him in his tracks. He tried to get away from me, but I was stronger. I tried not to hurt him. He didn't use magic. I tried not to show my surprise, why would a sorcerer not use magic? I led him away from the forest, back to the center of the clearing, towards the fire. At some point he collapsed on the way. I tried to make him more comfortable, changing his bandages and putting his bedroll under his head. I put mine on him; he was shivering. I added more wood to the fire-pit before lighting it. He stopped shivering, as the sun began to set. Darkness took over, and I sat there awake, protecting him, on guard. The question was, did he want me as guard?


	6. Waking

Hi! Here's the next chapter:

Quick note to reviewer Jane Mays: They may seem a bit OOC, but in my opinion, Merlin wouldn't attack Arthur much, just try to get away because if he did it would waste all his work. If it were Uthur or Morgana, yes he would fight, but he is trying to protect Arthur and has seen him at his best and worst.

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><p>I shudder, groggily trying to sit up.<p>

"Wait," a voice says, and I hear the owner get up. I freeze, recognizing the voice. Footsteps come closer and closer. I cringe when they reach me, keeping as still as I can. Hands gently grab me from behind, moving my arms to the front and adjusting my sling and the blankets underneath me. They prop me up, helping me to sit.

"There you go," Confusing was showing on my face, why was he helping me? Why was I still alive? He comes back around to my front, adjusts my blanket, and plops down on the log in front of me.

"Why are you—" I try to say, but my voice comes out hoarse. I clear my throat and try again, "Why are you doing this?" He looks hurt, but understanding, something I thought I'd never see Arthur look like.

He looks down. "I, um, I regret my actions recently," Is he trying to say sorry? Why was he apologizing? He coughs slightly. "I should have gotten the full story before attacking you," He must think he made a mistake, that I'm not a warlock.

"You weren't wrong," he looks up, surprised to hear me speak.

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><p>Sounds echo from where Merlin lies. He starts to move, trying to sit up.<p>

"Wait," I call, hurrying to help him. He tenses, immediately stopping. I cringe, that was a mistake. I walk over there, and help him as gently as I can. I wait till he's sitting, mostly staying up thanks to a bedroll, before I go around him. I snatch his blanket from his lap and spread it on him, tucking it in under his arms. I go to sit, staring at his face. He's scared and confused, shaking, cowering on the ground.

"Why are you—" he coughs, evidently unable to speak. I'm about to get him some water when he continues, "Why are you doing this?" I suck in air, feeling as though I was punched in the gut. My fault, how could I have done this? I look down, trying to cover my face. I must look like I hate him, when really the loathing on my face is all for myself.

"I, um," I can't think of what to say, "I regret my actions recently," That came out wrong. It sounds like something I'd tell a courtier in front of my father after doing something out of place. "I should have gotten the full story before attacking you," That doesn't sound much better.

"You weren't wrong," he says and my head jerks up. He looks like he wants to swallow those words back, "I did that," He cringes again, waiting for a blow that would never come, that I wouldn't allow to come.


	7. Explaining Part 1

Okay, today I only have Merlin's part, because I wanted to write the whole thing in his, then the whole thing in Arthur's. It also is about 800 words, and I like giving people lots of short chapters often, because I think they're more fun that way (to read). Arthur's will be up soon.

"I did that," I cringed, realizing what I just said and who to. By that time he must've been ready to pull out his sword. I had just admitted the fatal folly, the worst imaginable crime.

"I guessed you did that. Still, it looked like a mistake to me, you must not be very good," Was he kidding me? I'm supposed to be the most powerful warlock ever. "I don't know what possessed you to study magic, in Camelot no less, but—"That was it. I interrupted him, not caring about the consequences anymore, he didn't kill me yet anyway, and I may have been safe for now. I told him, I'm sick of all the lies.

"I didn't," He gave me a confused look.

"Didn't what?"

No turning back, "I didn't study magic,"

"So it was just a one time thing?" he looked hopeful, as if begging me to lie and say yes. I wouldn't though, I needed the burden of these lies to leave me, and I needed the truth to be free.

"No, but I didn't study," he looked crestfallen, "I was born this way," Now came the confusion apparent on everyone's face when I tell them.

"But, don't you have to?"

I breathed in, time for the most important part of the confession, "um, no, see I was born to fulfill a destiny. I needed magic to do that,"

"A destiny?" He gave me one of his infamous looks of disbelief, "You? Some powerful warlock with a destiny?" He started to laugh, "But you couldn't even get that spell before right!"

"I'll have you know that that I am powerful, and one spell doesn't mean much,"

He stopped laughing at the look of seriousness on my face, "You're being serious?"

"Yes!" I said exasperatedly, and he calls me stupid, oh the irony. He still had a look of disbelief. "Look, I'll prove it," I stopped thinking, only irritation controlled my movements. I raised my hand and willed the fire up as I had the night in Ealdor, when Will died to protect my secret. Now it would all be for nothing that he had said he was the sorcerer, rescuer of Ealdor, on his deathbed, soiled his name before leaving this world, leaving me. It was in memory of him that I commanded the fire, sparks flying and hanging in the air, gathering together to form a dragon, even then I had known subconsciously about my heritage. Only then did I notice Arthur stepping backward a bit. Then it hit me, the world spun back down, crashing to my feet, my brain pounding. I stopped, and took a sharp breath. I looked at Arthur cautiously, gauging his reaction. He caught himself from falling backward, and froze. He stared at me in disbelief, as if he couldn't believe I had done that, as if I was insane. The stare penetrated my very soul, and if I knew for certain he didn't have magic, I would have wondered if he was reading my mind.

He went to sit back down, trying to save face and act like he hadn't just been startled backwards by a simple light show.

"Why were you in Camelot?" he asked, once he recovered and had picked up and tried to salvage his tarnished dignity.

"I told you I didn't fit in at Ealdor, then there was an incident with a tree and Old Man Simmons, and Will found out about my magic. My mom sent me to Camelot, then I found out my destiny and stayed,"

"What is this destiny?" I struggled to find a way to explain it.

I tried to stall, "Why?"

"I'm trying to decide if you're evil or not, just answer me," I recoiled as if slapped. Those words twisted around my heart, chocking me, how could I explain my destiny to someone who did this to me, who beat me when he found out my secret, who was now interrogating me just to see if he should drag me back to Camelot in chains and hand me over to his father, who if I didn't answer correctly would gladly see me burn, the skin melting off my bones, my final breath in the hot flames.

"I can't," I finally said after a bit of thought, "Someone else can tell you, not me. In fact ask the stupid lizard. He can tell you, though I wouldn't trust him, Mr. Half can't hate what makes it whole, fortune cookie, two sides of a coin." I take a breath, stopping my rant. "Just leave me alone," I tried to stand up, and I managed after a few minutes, before slowly making my way to the forest, walking away from him. He watched me leave. I never looked back. I should have looked back.


	8. Explaining Part 2

This one's even longer! It's Arthur's POV, and I like it better than Merlin's, personally. Tell me which you like better, in a review perhaps? I hope you can see the parallels and re-used phrases. This was difficult to write, since I've had writers block the last couple days, and I just had to get started. Once I did, it came fairly quickly and only took a few hours to write.

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><p>"I did that," I cringed, hearing those words. I wanted him to change time, make me forget he'd ever condemned himself to a fiery death. I had to do was say the word.<p>

I took a deep breath, carefully choosing my next words, "I guessed you did that," I just hoped you would make an excuse, "Still, it looked like a mistake to me," Please say it was a mistake, that you weren't practicing magic, just read aloud some words you shouldn't have or something, "You must not be very good, I don't know what possessed you to study magic, in Camelot no less, but—"

He interrupted me, "I didn't," Was he saying he didn't study magic? So it was an accident!

Still, I had to check he was talking about that, "Didn't what?"

He gulped, "I didn't study magic," So it was just an accident! Thank heavens!

"So it was just a one time thing?" I tried not to show the relief on my face.

"No, but I didn't study. I was born this way," Born that way! So he did have magic! Father said that they had to study though, choose. If it wasn't a choice… suddenly I felt nauseous.

"But, don't you have to?" I had to clear that up, to see if we had been killing innocents.

He gave a small, humorless smile, "Um, no, see I was born to fulfill a destiny. I needed magic to do that,"

"A destiny? You? Some powerful warlock with a destiny?" But he was Merlin, an idiot. Even he can't be that good an actor. I started to laugh, "But you couldn't even get that spell before right!" He had to be joking, him?

He looked disgruntled, as though not expecting my action. "I'll have you know that I am powerful, and one spell doesn't mean much," his face had a look of dead seriousness, one that couldn't be faked.

"You're being serious?"

"Yes!" I could tell I was annoying him, but at least he wasn't shaking and terrified anymore, "Look, I'll prove it," Whatever I'd expected him to say, it hadn't been that. He raised his hand steadily, pointing it at the fire. He paused for a second before whispering, "Draca," * the embers flew, forming the shape of a dragon.

I gasped, but it didn't seem like he heard me. His face seemed to soften, his eyes unfocused, as if he was remembering a happier time. I couldn't help myself; I fell back, trying to fight my urge of 'see sorcerer, kill sorcerer'. He turned to look at me, as if remembering I was even there. He stared, as I stopped fumbling back, freezing. Would he run again? Why would he do something so stupid? It was official: he was an idiot! I looked at him, meeting his eyes. He shuddered, and I went to sit back down. He trusted me with showing that at least, I could act like it wasn't the oddest thing that's ever happened to me, seeing magic used for nothing but innocence.

"Why were you in Camelot?" I asked, as soon as I trusted my self to speak.

He smiled ruefully, " I told you I didn't fit in at Ealdor," That's what he meant! I just thought he wasn't the farming type or something! "Then there was an incident with a tree and Old Man Simmons," he at least had the sense to look ashamed, "and Will found out about my magic," So Will knew, and probably was lying when he said he was a sorcerer, otherwise it wouldn't matter if he knew.

"What is this destiny?" I wasn't going to stop until I got an answer. He paused, as though trying to see what words tasted right on his tongue, what I wouldn't shy from, or attack him because of.

"Why?" He was stalling, I could tell.

I tried to make a joke, lower the tension, "I'm trying to decide if you're evil or not, just answer me," He winces, drawing backward, away from me. In retrospect, it probably wasn't the brightest idea to joke about execution, especially after what I had done, but it was too late to call back my words.

He waited, and I wasn't sure if he would give me an answer now or not. He finally sighed, " I can't," he said, frustrated, "Someone else can tell you, not me," Who? "In fact, ask the stupid lizard," What lizard was he talking about? Why would a lizard talk? "He can tell you, though I wouldn't trust him," he spoke as if from experience, "Mr. Half can't hate what makes it whole, fortune cookie, two sides of a coin," he grumbled, taking a breath. He stopped, before saying with an air of finality, "Just leave me alone," He tried to get up, pushing against the blanket roll to support his weight. When he finally made it up, he limped to the forest, walking away from me. I watched him leave, paralyzed in shock at his rant. He didn't look back. I wish he had looked back. As soon as he was gone, I jolted out of my stupor, and raced after him. How could I let him leave again?

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><p>Please review! It only takes a minute! You can have a magical Merlin voodoo doll that you can whump all you want! (Courtesy of Merlin, it's not my fault if he doesn't send it, he just was backed up with all the angst and saving of prat's lives).<p> 


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